i was so confident on where i was so sure about my future and now i have such mixed emotions. how can something feel so perfect and yet how stupid feel know that it isnt.
i feel so awkward. i feel so out of place make a way of escape for me.
Life has just been crazy lately.
work has been a handful. COrynn recently left the office. i have to hold my ground now. taking everything that i have learned from her and apply it to my work. its so hard without her. i was so sure that she was always going to be there. she is one of my closest friends and it just sucks you know. being alone with the wolves so to speak. holding my weight always guarding my words. we dont even talk everyday anymore and the hurts.
i recently was maid of honor for nicol. God i pray your hand on Geoff and nicol. they need you more than ever help them forget the little things that keep them off track. let them learn how to forgive each other. thank you that she has stayed in my life so long.
i pray that you show me how you want to me to be in Halleys life. i dont know why i just let people walk all over me and never tell them how they hurt me. i know that i am a forgiving person. i just try to forget about it. 70 X 7 right.
i have been with Ho for almost 3 years. it has been a rollercoster. so much fun. but i realize how much more i need to grow and healing that needs to take place before i ever get married. i need to be able to to trust him 100 percent. and i dont. infact i am so broken right now and i just hide it. once you break trust its over. God what am i suppose to do. what am i suppose to do what am i suppose to do. i just want to cry.
why did i do this to myself. some people got to learn the hardway guess that im the kind of girls whos got to find out for myself. on my knees and i am cryin for you.
thanksgiving was yesterday. i accomplished one of my goals.
i ran in the 10k dispite my sickness thank you God. it was so awesome so amazing to have the encouragement that i did.
my friends must really care about me. i dont know why i dont accept a compliment when someone gives it to me. its so hard for me to take. i never was encouraged by my aunt and uncle i felt i was always doing wrong. i think that is why it was soo and is still so hard.
i need to get ready to go.
i lift this up to you .i am confused =
my heart. my soul. my thoughts.
my friends. my life.
be with my family be with those i love.
xoxo me.
