having to keep being the rock
i dont know what to say to dani but i said i love you and for some weird reason she said it back.
i think that i am getting depressed i need to be more careful.
i dont know why people put up with my bullshit.
but i am thankful they do and still make me feel loved.
i dont understand.
...
i really hope it doesnt take our cousin dying having it be the only reason why dani would call me
thats messed up. the weird scary thing that it was one year to the day since we saw mom and now our cousin died.
mom is falling apart. its so hard to listen to her.
i cant help it i dont want her to hear me cry i just dont know how to listen to all that so i say my phone is dying or i have to go. i feel guilty but i promised i will call today but i just get so down and i carry it around with me. i couldnt even sleep last night. i was so tired today i felt like i was on something.
i am cleaning right now. at least i feel in control of something.
i get sad with life but i must realize that i am blessed.
God can you remind me. help me remember.
